Name: Midnight Dreams
Brand: KONG
SKU: KONG_SOAP_SEAMOSS_LAVENDER
Price: 16.00 USD
Availability: InStock

13,000+ Happy Customers

REAL PEOPLE.
REAL SWITCH.

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: SKIN IRRITATION

Okay, TMI warning. I had chronic irritation 'down there' for YEARS. Went to my OBGYN twice. Tests came back normal. She sent me home with cream that did nothing. A friend told me it was probably my toilet paper. I laughed. Bought Kong anyway because I was desperate. Within a week it was gone. Not better. GONE. Turns out my Charmin was loaded with bleach and fragrance. I was basically scrubbing chemicals on the most sensitive part of my body every single day. I'm genuinely angry. Never going back. Ever.

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: SENSITIVE SKIN

I didn't even realize my regular TP was the reason I was constantly irritated down there. Two weeks on Kong bamboo and everything calmed down. No chlorine, no bleach, no mystery chemicals... just clean. My skin literally thanked me!

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: HORMONE DISRUPTORS

Bro I went down a rabbit hole one night about microplastics and endocrine disruptors and I swear I didn't sleep for like 3 days. Started reading ingredient labels on everything. Turns out regular toilet paper is coated in PFAS, bleach, formaldehyde resins, and BPA from the recycled paper. I'm wiping THAT on myself every day?? No wonder men's T levels are in the gutter. Switched to Kong bamboo. No chemicals, no bleach, no weird coating. My bathroom doesn't smell like a hospital anymore and I feel better about what I'm putting on my body. If you're a guy trying to optimize anything, start with the stuff touching you every day

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: TRIED EVERYTHING

I've tried every 'eco' toilet paper on the market. Who Gives A Crap, Reel, Seventh Generation, the one from Grove. They were either sandpaper or $1.50 a roll or both. I was about to give up and go back to Charmin. My sister sent me a Kong box for my birthday as a joke because of the branding. I opened it expecting the usual scratchy bamboo disappointment. It's actually soft?? Like genuinely soft. Not 'soft for bamboo' soft, actually soft. And it's cheaper than half the brands I tried. I don't know how they did it but I'm not going back.

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: HUSBAND THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY

My husband thought I was insane for spending $70 on toilet paper. He literally said 'it's toilet paper Sarah, who cares.' I bought it anyway. First week he didn't say anything. Second week I caught him taking a roll into HIS bathroom (we have separate bathrooms because he refuses to use mine after I use it). Third week he asked me to add him to the subscription. He now tells everyone at work about Kong. He brought it up at a dinner party last weekend. I'm never letting him live this down

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: LOW T CONCERNS

Bro. I test my T levels every 6 months. I cut seed oils, stopped drinking from plastic, got blue light blockers, the whole protocol. Then some dude on X posted about how toilet paper has PFAS, formaldehyde, and chlorine bleach soaked into it. I lost it. You're telling me I'm optimizing everything and still wiping my taint with literal forever chemicals twice a day? Nah. Switched to Kong. Bamboo, no bleach, no fragrance, no BPA from recycled paper. If you're serious about your health this is the easiest swap you'll ever make. I don't care if it sounds crazy. Everything touching your body matters

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: ALWAYS RUNNING OUT

I cannot tell you how many times I've done the shuffle. You know the shuffle. Sitting there, realizing there's no toilet paper, screaming for my boyfriend to bring me a roll, him not hearing me, me eventually waddling to the hallway closet with my pants around my ankles. Set up the Kong subscription 4 months ago and I legitimately have not thought about toilet paper since. A box just shows up. I have a little stack under my sink at all times. The shuffle is dead. If you live alone or your partner is useless at restocking things, this will change your life. I'm not kidding

DAY 01

DAY 30

PROBLEM: ENVIRONMENTAL GUILT

I'm the girl who brings her own tote bags, composts, refuses plastic straws. And then every month I'd come home from Costco with this massive plastic-wrapped 30 pack of toilet paper made from actual trees. I'd literally hide it under the sink because looking at it stressed me out. Finally switched to Kong. Bamboo grows back in 3 years, trees take 30. The packaging is actually recyclable. No guilt, no plastic, no hiding things under my sink. I didn't realize how much that one purchase was bothering me until I stopped making it

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SWITCH TO KONG

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BUY YOUR FIRST KONG BOX

WEEK 1

The Panic Runs Stop Forever

Your first box lands. Bamboo rolls softer than the brand you were paying double for. First wipe in, you already know you're not going back.

MONTH 1

Your Bathroom Stops Looking Basic

No more plastic 12 packs in the cabinet. Kong rolls sit on the shelf looking like art. Guests notice. Some ask. You're now the friend with the cool TP.

MONTH 2

You've Stopped Thinking About It

Your second box lands without you noticing. Rolls show up, bathroom stays stocked, TP leaves your mental list. One less errand. One less worry.

MONTH 3

You're All In, And You Saved 2 Trees

90 days in. You've forgotten what other TP feels like. Saved 2 trees, skipped 6 plastic wrappers, never panic bought again. You're a Kong person now. Welcome to the family.

Less than the cost of premium store TP. Free shipping. Cancel anytime.

PFAS

BPA

CHLORINE BLEACH

SYNTHETIC FRAGRANCE

TOXIC DYES

THE TOILET PAPER INDUSTRY IS LYING TO YOU

THE TP INDUSTRY IS LYING TO YOU

Big brand toilet paper isn't just paper. It's bleached with chlorine, treated with PFAS forever chemicals, printed with BPA laced inks, and pressed against the most absorbent skin on your body. Multiple times a day. Every single day. It isn't just gross. It's actively harmful.

Big TP is bleached with chlorine, treated with PFAS, and printed with BPA inks. It isn't just gross. It's harmful.

WHAT'S ACTUALLY IN BIG BRAND TP: WHAT'S IN BIG BRAND TP:

93%

PFAS DETECTED IN MAJOR US BRANDS

PFAS IN BIG BRANDS

A 2024 university study tested every major US toilet paper brand and found PFAS forever chemicals in 93% of them, including Charmin, Cottonelle, and Quilted Northern.

A 2024 study found PFAS forever chemicals in 93% of major US TP brands, including Charmin and Cottonelle.

100%

BLEACHED WITH CHLORINE

Every conventional white toilet paper brand uses chlorine bleaching, which leaves dioxin residue linked to hormone disruption and reproductive issues.

Every white TP brand uses chlorine bleach, leaving dioxin residue linked to hormone disruption.

15M

TREES KILLED EVERY DAY

15M TREES KILLED DAILY

The toilet paper industry destroys 15 million trees per day in the US alone, almost entirely from old growth forests, just to wipe with virgin tree pulp.

15 million trees a day, almost all from old growth forests, just to wipe.

PROBLEM: PANIC RUNS

Switched from Charmin and honestly shocked. This is softer, lasts longer, and I'm not buying plastic-wrapped garbage anymore.

Jacob v, 34 Verified Subscriber

PROBLEM: BIG BRAND TP

My skin was always irritated. Turns out it was the TP. KONG fixed it in a week. Never going back.

Mike R, 41 Verified Subscriber

The only TP made for people who actually read the label

REAL MATERIALS, REAL CLEAN

100% organic bamboo. 3 ply, 350 sheets per roll. No added PFAS, no chlorine bleach, no formaldehyde resins. Just paper that does its job.

ZERO TOXINS, ZERO BULLSH*T

No tree pulp. No plastic wrappers. No mystery chemicals pressed against your most sensitive skin. Septic safe and biodegradable.

FEELS BETTER, WORKS BETTER

Bamboo fiber is naturally softer and stronger than tree pulp. The first wipe tells you everything you need to know.

LOVED BY 13,000+ CUSTOMERS WORLDWIDE

★★★★★

Sarah M.

✓ Verified Buyer

"Honestly the softest bamboo TP I've tried. Switched and never going back."

★★★★★

Mike R.

✓ Verified Buyer

"Finally, a brand that actually cares what's in their toilet paper. Love it."

★★★★★

Jessica L.

✓ Verified Buyer

"My whole family noticed the difference. Way softer than Charmin."

★★★★★

Tyler K.

✓ Verified Buyer

"Started this for the PFAS thing. Stayed because it's actually better paper."

★★★★★

Emma R.

✓ Verified Buyer

"Convinced my husband and now we both subscribe. No more late-night CVS runs."

★★★★★

Mia T.

✓ Verified Buyer

"Sensitive skin loves it. Best decision I've made in months."

GOT QUESTIONS? WE'VE GOT ANSWERS

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

We understand that buying toilet paper online is a real switch. Here's everything you need to know before subscribing. no fluff, just answers.

What is KONG made of?

100% premium bamboo. 3-ply, 350 sheets per roll. No PFAS, no chlorine bleach, no artificial fragrance, no formaldehyde resins. Biodegradable and septic-safe.

Is KONG actually softer than Charmin or Cottonelle?

Yes — and 13,000+ customers agree (4.9/5 rating). Bamboo fiber is naturally softer and stronger than tree pulp, especially when wet. Most people notice the difference on day one.

How does the subscription work?

Pick your pack size (12, 24, or 48 rolls). Pick your delivery frequency (1-3 months). Lock in 50% off your first order and recurring discounts for life. Skip, pause, or cancel anytime from your KONG Members dashboard.

Can I cancel my subscription anytime?

Yes. One click in your KONG Members dashboard. No phone calls, no emails, no hoops. We don't trap you — we earn the renewal every month.

Is KONG safe for septic systems and sewers?

Absolutely. KONG is 100% biodegradable and breaks down faster than traditional toilet paper. Septic-safe, sewer-safe, RV-safe.

Why is KONG more expensive than store-bought TP?

Because store-bought TP is bleached with chlorine, treated with PFAS, packed in plastic, and made from trees that take 30+ years to regrow. KONG costs more because it's made differently. Subscribers pay $1.35 per roll — barely more than premium store brands.

We believe in our bamboo because it actually works. If you don't notice the difference in 30 days, we'll give you your money back. No drama, no hoops. Subscribe now and lock in 50% off for life.

Midnight Dreams

REAL PEOPLE.
REAL SWITCH.